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mylittleredgirl · 8 months ago

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[and the rest of the post!]

...... but her circumstances have recently changed.

by cutting frank out of her life (both because she wants a future he's not offering and because she wants to punish him; i have plenty of thoughts about that too), she has eliminated her only source of friendly human contact. she and frank bonded over being hated by everyone else! they encouraged that in each other! but now... she’s all alone.

hawkeye is now in the business of making digs on frank's behalf, and that's another social avenue closed off. she was becoming friendly with both hawkeye and b.j. — they're the first people she told about her engagement! — but (largely because of how clueless and obnoxious she was in that episode) frank got the swamp rats in the divorce, so to speak.

so she's lonely to the point of distress, but she's so boxed-in by her inflexible belief in power structures and has been terrorizing everyone since we met her, so she can't easily walk that back without... abandoning her hold on those power structures long enough to apologize (which i noticed she doesn't do in this episode, but when in her whole life would she have ever seen an authority figure apologize?). and taking a cheese grater to her ego, because it's not like people are going to immediately embrace her, so she'll deal with rejection while she tries to change.

and what if they make fun of her to her face instead of behind her back — which is worse??

i find it telling that they call her 'hot lips' when she's not around — and i'm sure she knows they do. in the script, the act one tent scene is much longer, and the nurses debrief the O.R. shitshow and then drag margaret for a page and a half before she arrives:

and then on-screen, when mary jo tries to protect gaynor (the one on the top bunk with dark hair):

sorry for the gazillion caps; i swear this is actually the readers' digest version oh my god

having this episode right after "lt. radar o'reilly" is such a brilliant accident, because dear sweet radar just put words to the tragedy and loneliness of military success. radar was jealous of the officers in theory, but is so much happier back among the grunts, because it's better to take disrespect and abuse from above together than to take it from below while isolated and alone.

from season 5 "lt. radar o'reilly":

which is exactly what's happening here!! margaret has wanted this promotion all her life, but she probably didn't picture having it in the middle of nowhere. she has no family waiting at home for her at night, no peers she can relate to, not even a terrible boyfriend in her tent anymore. she barely knows her absent fiancé; would she dare send him an honest letter about her day that isn't all sunshine and idealized presentation?

so with all that, whether or not she deserves it, i love that the nurses offer her an olive branch at the end.

earlier, margaret started the professional reconciliation by finally allying herself with the nurses and protecting them in front of colonel potter. it's long overdue; up until now, we have only seen variations of the opening O.R. scene, where she criticizes them in public instead of rising to their defense. this part of their dynamic is entirely on her to mend — no one else can help her.

and then, later...

the nurses are far more emotionally aware than she is. this is the best possible move they could make — it defuses another potential standoff, and it's their way of thanking margaret for letting baker off the hook. it shouldn't have to be up to them to change the culture and improve their relationship with their supervisor, but they're honestly more capable of it. and it's very sweet how margaret immediately responds.

the nurses are all adult women who value their social connection with each other, and they recognize someone in distress who doesn't really know how to initiate kindness, and took a chance to show her. <3 <3

i hope this improves things for everyone! i think it will! and i definitely hope margaret thinks long and hard about all this, because if she lets it, it could really change her life.

tl;dr: poorly socialized feral cat domesticated by the mortifying ordeal of being known and one (1) cup of terrible army coffee.

[i reblogged the tumblr post where i found the script here.]

i know some of you have been pressing your faces to the glass waiting for me to see this one in particular SO i saw "the nurses" the other night and am still thinking about it!!

i love love love it when characters get pushed to a point where you can almost see their childhood selves pop out, like are they even talking about what's happening right now? or are their 12-year-old hearts just screaming?? i love that margaret's outburst is both irrational (the hostile work environment is coming from inside the house; i was yelling at my tv "baby it's your fault!!!") and so so honest.

[this turned into a bit of a character thesis, so not only is there a readmore, there will also be a reblog soon with the rest of the post because i maxed out the image limit!]

this whole time, margaret has treated her subordinates with a heavy hand because she thinks it's the right and fair thing to do. the rules say this is how it works!

she maintains a high standard of excellence in brutal circumstances, but she's also reactive, moody, and unforgiving. she's often shown on the edge of losing control and authority, she inflames situations by overreacting, and the thing she punishes most egregiously is disrespect (toward frank, toward the army, toward herself). she intentionally underlines the distance between herself and the other nurses at every turn.

from season 3 "there's nothing like a nurse": [all IDs in alt]

really, everything she thinks and does comes from a place of "they're not supposed to like me," but the childish part of her that is completely unable to see her own behavior is confused and hurt because "i'm just doing my job so why don’t they like me???"

it's her job to maintain discipline, but especially here in 4077-land, she doesn't have to lead with the whip. henry was beloved because he was an overly permissive clown, which will never be her speed, but colonel potter has all the same training as she does. he's loved and respected as the Good Regular Army Guy because he leads with discernment and mutual respect.

it's easier for him. he's more experienced, he's respected and supported from above and below, and he has a calm temperament — which isn't nothing.

from season 4 "the interview":

whether she's aware of this as a problem or not, we at home can see how margaret's inability to control her emotional reactivity causes her as much grief as her inability to control other people.

if she were capable of laughing off small slights, hawkeye and trapper wouldn't have used her as a chew toy so much, and henry might have taken her real concerns more seriously if they weren't lost in the noise of daily fits, you know? she rarely started it, so i'm not blaming her for the hostile chaos circus of seasons 1-3, but i am saying she would have had a better time if she knew how to take a few deep breaths.

this description from the script, after the near-brawl in the nurses' tent in act one, is basically her character thesis statement:

and here, when she's reacting fully emotionally, the truth comes out! the reason that she won't be flexible and show compassion to the nurses isn't because of the rules, but because they're mean to her!!

that's obviously a very bad place to lead from. she has enormous institutional power over them, including controlling their freedom of movement, but she feels like all the other girls in school are hanging out together and they hate her. because they are! and they do! the fight in act one boils over when they make fun of her hair, and that sent all of them back to middle school.

and in many ways, that's where margaret's emotional maturity is stuck (which is, i think, why i find her so endearing). she can't see herself. she knows they don't like her, trust her, or want her around, but she doesn't understand how she dug this hole herself, or how to get out of it.

to add insult to jealous injury, one of the nurses (mary jo, who gets between margaret and baker to stop the fight and takes care of the others in different ways) is margaret's age, and the others look to her as their chosen leader and personal support.

and i'm sure margaret had NO IDEA this was the messy truth until she heard it come out of her mouth.

and her emotionally breaking on the "one lousy cup of coffee" in particular��

i wonder, how often does some version of that first tent scene happen? does she deliver their assignments every night? she walks in already defensive, they immediately stop laughing, and then... she either finds a reason to scold them or they ice her out until she leaves. (and they probably start laughing again as soon as she does!)

from her perspective, when she arrived for the dreaded sleepover and they turned out the lights the minute she walked in, it's like they cancelled the nightly coffee klatch just to avoid spending one social minute with her.

i also think the nurses are right when they assumed that she wouldn't have accepted an invitation to hang out with them (and might even have snapped at them for being inappropriate for asking). she doesn't cross that emotional line, even when she should — she didn't know gaynor was spiraling after losing so many patients in a row, and didn't respond compassionately when she learned.

has she ever invited them for coffee or a friendly chat? no.

...... but her circumstances have recently changed.

[reblog coming soon with the rest of it!]

#whew!!!!#apparently i think about her a normal amount #i want you all to know how very restrained i was actually in keeping this to the episode and not pouring out all my ill-informed headcanons #since i have seven seasons left of character knowledge still to go #but i can't help imagining what margaret's experience was as a junior officer herself because i suspect it was the time of her life #and maybe she had a supervisor who was also super strict (which would help her thrive!) but was more fair about it #(and probably didn't have a frank burns around to constantly defend on the job)#so margaret would have loved this supervisor and seen her colleagues do the same even though they got tough love in return #and so margaret just doesn't see the difference -- so is stuck in the 'why don't they like me?????' and can't see the answer #(even though the answer is so! obvious! to everyone else!!!)#mashblogging #margaret houlihan #<- in case anyone is coming from afar and sees this i don't usually use character tags it's all just a mashblogging junk drawer #so feel free to dig around the rubber bands and paper clips #mash #edit: whoops forgot two caps they're in there now #deep dives

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dollsonmain · 3 years ago

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Ok.

I think that’s it.

Unless I hear that mystery item sliding around again, I think I got everything out.

There is a space I can’t get my fingers into which could easily hold another pencil or more teeth, and the fabric does tear easily so I’m not wanting to push an item into that space and try to root around and see if there’s anything else.

I did try to swipe anything that was left and small enough I couldn’t grab it or failed to get with the vacuum to the back corners which opened up to the space under the cushion and some small, unnotable stuff did fall to the floor.

I’m calling it.

In addition to a bunch of stuff there was a lot of untrimmed fabric that I trimmed. Nearly a yard of the piping just hanging out in there, and many, many staples to nowhere. They were stuck through the fluff and the fabric but not into any wood. I just pulled those. I also hammered down every little staple end that was sticking out just because.

I could use it as matching-not-matching patches for the arm rests which are even more worn now because I was scooting the chair around on the floor upside down. No suitable table to invert it on.

Used to look like that!

And I can use the bottom fabric again, or use it as a pattern for some new, less icky fabric.

Final item count!

1 Baltimore Maryland crab keychain, which the boy immediately claimed

4.3 pencils

3.5 crayons

1 whatever that little plastic thing is

1 wholeass Philips head screwdriver

7 candy wrappers and scraps

1 lollipop stick

1 toothpick

1 dried up bloody baby tooth

1 pair of cuticle scissors

1 eyeglasses screwdriver

1 pair of tweezers

1 Dairy Queen free kids’ cone coin, other side offers an equal value off of another item if you don’t want a kids’ cone

1 dime

1 tiny rubber band

1 modern water bottle cap (the smaller ones) which holds various small things including an orbee, though most are crumbs and lint

1 The Raisin which I’d found BEFORE putting on gloves and while it was wet and squishy (shudder) which might actually be a craisin

1 macaroli

1 dog Christmas pin, thankfully closed

1 string of beads reading “WINTER” framed by 2 black hearts

1 illegible post-it, likely my fault because I didn’t think to do this BEFORE washing the chair

1 distended paper clip

1 itty bitty bit of evergreen frond, maybe Christmas tree judging by some of the other things

Somehow I managed to not poke myself with any of these things while digging them out of the chair.

I have a feeling the teen boy that gave me an awkward wave while they were delivering the chair knew exactly what I would find in it if I went looking.

#my chair

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jesseneufeld · 5 years ago

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Learning Through Play: 101 Ways To Keep Young Minds Occupied At Home

Parents, right off the bat, let me say that there is no right way to be feeling about the current situation. Relief, anxiety, excitement, dread are all normal. We’re all figuring this out as we go along and doing the best we can. Virtual high-five!

This is not a homeschooling post per se. This is about the importance of play as learning, and letting our kids play to restore some balance we don’t always manage in our typical over-scheduled lives.

Here’s the good news if you’re stressed about making sure your kids are still learning why they are at home: they are. I recently attended a workshop with a local homeschool coordinator. The biggest thing I took away was a reminder that all play is learning.

Why Kids Need to Play

Play is how kids learn about the world. Theoretical and Applied Playworker Bob Hughes (awesome title!) lists 16 different types of play that are central to physical, mental, emotional, and social development. By manipulating objects and trying things out (“I wonder what will happen if I give the dog a haircut?”), using their imaginations to role play different scenarios, and moving and challenging their bodies, kids play to learn:

How their bodies work

Laws of physics

Laws of nature

How to interact with other people, and the consequences of breaking social norms

How to follow rules, and the consequences of breaking those, too

Play builds neural connections and motor skills. Through play, kids get to act out adulting (as in playing house), tap into their creativity, and discover their passions.

Importance of Play

Play is not optional. There is a reason that it’s Primal Blueprint Law #7 and Mark has written about it frequently here. (I’ll put some links at the bottom.) Yet, we all know that kids don’t play today like they used to for a variety of reasons. If this time at home offers one thing, it’s time for playing. This means getting free play, movement time, social time, music and arts time, and family time—checking a bunch of Primal boxes.

I’m not just talking about the kids, by the way. I’m talking about the adults in your house too. How much do YOU play in your normal life? I’m guessing not enough. A lot of the ideas here are fun for the whole family.

Play to Learn: Indoor and Outdoor Activities for Kids

For obvious reasons, I’m not listing things that involve going to parks or other public places. If you can still go for bike rides or kick the soccer ball around outside, great! You can do these inside or in your yard if you have one. I also didn’t list too many options that might necessitate shopping for materials. Pick the ideas that work for you given the ages of your kids, what stuff you already have at home, and how much space you have.

Before You Begin…

If you’re like us, you have a stash of art supplies, board games, boxes of legos and blocks, and sports equipment stuck on shelves and in closets. Dig it out and take inventory. What do you already have in your home that your kids can play with? Even bigger kids enjoy revisiting things like blocks and playdough, especially when they’re stuck at home.

Creativity Stations

I have a friend who, when her kids were little, would put out a craft or art project every night. When her boys woke up in the morning, it was waiting for them to explore at their leisure. It made for a lot of fun and peaceful mornings in their house. (Yes, she’s a supermom.)

I’m adapting this idea by designating a “creativity station.” Realistically, you might as well call this the “mess station.” Maybe it’s a card table in a corner of the living room, on the deck, or in the garage. I’m just giving up my kitchen table for now. Lay out a bunch of supplies and let them have at it. These stay out for several days at my house, then we clean it up and get out something else. Here are some ideas:

Art labs

Coloring/painting

Supplies: paper, coloring books, crayons, markers, paint, stamps, stickers—whatever you have!

Ideas: Encourage kids to explore textures by using different types of objects as stamps: sponges, cookie cutters, leafs and sticks from the yard, legos, etc. Make footprints with action figures. Keep a bowl on hand that they can put dirty stuff in to wash. Also keep a pile of rags nearby for wiping dirty hands before they touch the wall.

Collage

Supplies: Paper; old magazines, newspapers, circulars, coupon mailers; glue; safety scissors

Ideas: Give kids a theme (e.g., food, their favorite person) or just let them make whatever they want.

Mosaic

Supplies: Construction and tissue paper in different colors; glue; scissors (optional); bowls to keep colored confetti separated (optional)

Ideas: Have kids cut or tear colored paper into small pieces like confetti, then use the pieces to create mosaic art. You can use coloring book pages as a “pattern,” or they can draw their own or make it free-form.

Science lab

Supplies: Plate or baking sheet; plastic table cloth or drop cloth (optional); containers of different sizes for mixing and pouring; water; food coloring; baking soda; pipettes, medicine droppers, etc. (raid the medicine cabinet); measuring spoons; baking soda; vinegar in a spray bottle; dish soap

Ideas: Let kids make “potions” and practice pouring from one container to another. Sprinkle baking soda on a plate, “decorate” with drops of food coloring, then spray with vinegar.

There are a ton of ideas for easy and fun science experiments online, too. Check out this lemon volcano and these 10 experiments you can do with water.

3-D creations

Supplies: Clay, playdough, tape, toothpicks, chopsticks, straws, rubber bands, paper clips, corks, pipe cleaners, anything else you can find around

Ideas: This is fun for free play, or you can challenge your kids to build something specific, like a bridge that will actually hold a small weight.

Make your own playdough recipes here and here. (Yes, these are not Primal recipes!)

Archeological dig

Supplies: Plastic tub with moon sand, kinetic sand, or dirt; small toys (e.g., plastic animals, blocks, marbles, plastic eggs filled with “treasure”); spoons, paint brushes

Ideas: Bury objects for your kids to “excavate.” Have them build ancient ruins.

Make your own moon sand recipes here and here.

Family Time

Family dance party

Let older kids create a custom playlist

Freeze dance: Let someone control the pause button; when the music stops, freeze and hold the position

Minute to win it games (check Pinterest for ideas)

Family book club

Sing-alongs

Card games

Board games

Dice games

Have a “campout” in your backyard. Make a campfire in a fire pit, place a bunch of candles in a circle, or have your kid make a pretend fire out of sticks and paper.

Make a family tree (including genealogy research if you want)

Go on a family vacation without leaving the house! There are so many ways to “travel” online. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Visit the Tembe Elephant Park in South Africa

Watch the Northern Lights live (best viewing hours are 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. EDT.)

Tour the Carlsbad Caverns

Visit a museum

See the Great Wall of China

Tour the Vatican

See the animals at the San Diego Zoo and the Monterey Bay Aquarium

Go to the opera

Take in a Broadway play

Go scuba diving

Go to outer space

71 More Activities for Kids

Color the driveway with chalk

Use chalk (outside) or masking tape (inside) to make hopscotch or foursquare

Make noodle or bead necklaces

Draw a comic

Illustrate a favorite book or story

Listen to a song and “draw” what you hear

Origami

Make a flexagon

Gather up broken crayons make something new with them

Move like an animal; take turns guessing which animal the other person is being

Primal essential movements

Resistance exercise with (light) hand weights and resistance bands

Make an obstacle course

Jump rope

Hopping on one foot contest

Do a handstand

Play hacky sack (make your own filled with rice or flour)

Put on as many clothes as you can, then try to do jumping jacks or burpees

Learn to breakdance

Yoga

Meditate

Make a drum kit with bowls and buckets

Make “instruments” like castanets and boomwhackers with household objects

Build a pillow fort

Build a cardboard box fort, paint and decorate it

Build a catapult

Build a Rube Goldberg machine

Make a birdhouse

Identify birds or bugs in your backyard

Learn about animal tracks and make your own

Weed the garden

Dig a hole

Plant an indoor herb garden

Cook together

Learn about food preservation; make sauerkraut or yogurt

Smell boxes: place objects with a distinctive smell—a candle, an orange cut in half—inside an empty tissue box and take turns guessing what’s in there

Touch boxes: same as above, but you have to reach in and feel the object without looking

Learn to tie knots

Make a solar oven

Learn how to build a fire (supervised, obviously)

Make a sundial

Learn how to use a compass

Get a bucket of water and test what sinks or floats

Learn to sew

Follow a finger knitting tutorial

Crochet a small project

Make a t-shirt scarf out of an old shirt

Make tissue paper flowers

Play charades

Make puppets and put on a show

Play hide and seek

Play sardines (the opposite of hide and seek – rules here)

Make the letters of the alphabet with your body

Play 20 questions

Play I spy

Make a word chain

Dig out the old point-and-shoot camera and learn to take pictures

Cloud watching

Build towers and knock them down

Yard scavenger hunt

Find something in the house for every letter of the alphabet

Make a yarn spider web

Juggle

Speak pig latin

Learn a new language

Use a magnifying glass to explore objects up close

Freeze little plastic toys, marbles, etc. in bowls of water, then test ways to free the toys most quickly. Try different techniques like rubbing, spraying with warm water, or sprinkling with salt.

Blow bubbles; make your own bubble solution and bubble makers

Bring some flashlights in a dark room or closet and make shadow puppets

Balloon “hockey” with balloons and brooms

In the snow: fill spray bottles with water and food coloring and “paint” the snow

Give the Kids — AND YOURSELF — A Break

The idea isn’t to keep your kids occupied every minute of the day. It’s ok if they complain about being bored every once in a while. If they are like most modern kids, they aren’t used to having a ton of time on their hands. Present them with options, but let them figure it out on their own if they are old enough.

Your house might be messy and chaotic right now. Your kids might be too. They are certainly not immune to the stress and anxiety in the world, especially your older kids. It’s ok if you don’t have a schedule with neat blocks of school time, movement time, snack time, and chore time, and if your kids haven’t gotten out of their pajamas in a week. Your kids are going to be fine no matter what.

This is not nearly an all-inclusive list. What else has your family been doing to have fun while #stayinghome?

Resources

More play activities and lots of homeschooling resources from Unschool.school

100 Ways to Play from the Boston Children’s Museum

More play activities and homeschool ideas from Beyond the Chalkboard